Reggie's Social Skills

Evan and I both had a couple of days off last week and decided to spend it in Seattle. He spent a good chunk of time taking care of his mom after her shoulder surgery to repair her rotator cuff. Naturally, Reggie came with us and I spent a good chunk of my time entertaining Reggie. He was such a good boy. I love having a dog that can travel with me and make himself at home anywhere. He would spend hours just playing in the backyard. I would watch him just explore the whole yard with his nose to the ground. He eventually assembled a pile of what he considered interesting objects in the middle of the yard, such as a watering can, a large stick, and an old tennis ball.

One afternoon I headed out to a city park in search of the dog park hidden within it. I was very proud of Reggie's social skills as he bounded into the park and sniffed every dog's butt with no discrimination. He played with large and small dogs alike and wanted to be everyone's friend. He came home and laid like a fuzzy rug on the floor for the rest of the day.

The next day we drove to a dog park near Lake Washington and once again Reggie was in heaven. He sniffed every butt he could and wanted to play with every dog we walked by. He was filthy after a good hour of play so we decided to see if he was interested in swimming. You betcha. He bounded through the waves as if he was trying to catch them. Unfortunately, he was unable to demonstrate his well honed fetch skills as every time we threw the ball he was distracted by another dog and decided that other dogs were more exciting than balls.

It was great to spend some time getting to know the big city on foot. And as always, I enjoyed visiting Whole Foods and salivating in front of the cheese.

Down for the Count

About two years ago I hurt my back and was down for the count...for quite awhile. The physical pain numbed me out to everything in my life and sucked me into a empty void. Every time I felt pain run down through my leg, or was restricted by my physical limitations the mantra that went through my head was, "I want my life back." As I went through physical therapy, pain pills, nerve stimulation, personal therapy, and epidural injections my pain started to subside. Unfortunately, after months of being void of feeling I no longer was sure of who I was and where I was going. It became clear that if I wanted my life back I was going to have to fight for it. And fight I did. After fighting for one's life, it becomes clear that it is not worth it to settle, for anything. I knew my life was worth so much more. When I got back up and back into the game of life I made the decision to find a job that would consist of more activity than sitting in a chair and talking. I moved to Idaho and created a lifestyle for myself that I thought was only possible when on vacation.

My back is not perfect. I know there are things that irritate it, and other things that bring me relief. While home in Michigan I did a handful of things that irritate my back. I came home and decided to take a long hike to bring a little peace back to my body. If you know me at all, you know I tend to push myself. Reggie and I went out for a beautiful hike with golden leaves and spectacular views on a clear day. As my heels blistered as a result of not hiking much all summer, I pushed on. I did not stay hydrated. I did not rest. I just pushed in the name of bringing peace back to my body. Ironic, I know. When I got home I rested, and stretched a little, yes, only a little. A day later I threw my back out by bending over to help up a student. All in the name of bringing peace back to my body...

I knew the pain well, and the silent tears that fall without control. I stayed calm and I used my breath. If anything, I know how to take care of myself when the pain sets in. I know not to do it all alone. I know when I want to quit and I am frozen in my fear, it means I need to reach out for help. I made it to the doctor with the help of a friend, took my meds, and asked for a prescription for physical therapy. I knew what I needed. I may know what to do when the pain sets in, but my judgment starts to fail when the pain subsides. That is when I want to do all the things I have spent days not doing, and jump back into my life with reckless abandon. And then the pain returns, and with it fear.

I am stuck in this cycle now. I am taking it day by day and looking forward to starting physical therapy on Tuesday. I spoke to my old physical therapist and he graciously found me a physical therapist in the area. Erick was my saving grace when I was ready to give up, and just hearing his voice reminded me that I can do this. I can re-strengthen my back, and get back to my journey. I believe my back pain is always a reminder for me to re-evalute my choices and my path. And I do not have to do it alone.

Tour de Michigan

While in Michigan there were several comments made about my lack of posting lately. I cannot argue. My only excuse is that Reggie was a handful of sorts for about the first month. The good news is that he is potty trained and no longer eating rocks! Just yesterday he walked over to the sliding door and sat there with an expectant look. There was no barking, no whining, just waiting. I was incredibly proud, not to mention thankful that I just might be done scrubbing the carpets free of excrement and urine.

I spent the last week in Michigan, and I can honestly say, "I did it all." I saw all my aunts and uncles, some of my cousins, grandma, mom, dad, and all my closest friends. I was in metro Detroit, Traverse City, Charlevoix, Midland, Ann Arbor, and Kalamazoo. To top it all off, the colors were at their peak and all the driving was well worth it. Evan came with me and was a great sport through the whole whirlwind tour. However, his favorite day was the one where we just hung out at home in Midland. I was so worried he would not be "entertained" and it seems he did not need any "entertaining" at all. He helped around the house, went to hit some golf balls, and then put up his feet and took a nap. What was I doing? A little shopping, of course. If there is one thing North Idaho is missing, it is quality shopping. We have plenty of shops for fancy pants tourists, but not so much for the metropolitan girl gone west. I do not think Detroit was ever a great fit for me, but I could not complain about the shopping.

Leaving my friends and family was hard. The first thought was, "why in the world do I live so far away from everyone I love??" It is easy to get caught up in that kind of talk, but I know that everything is different when you are a visitor. I remember living in Michigan and barely finding time where a few of us could make a simple afternoon of tea and chitchat. Everyone has time for you when you live on the other side of the country. I also remember how much I needed to do something for me, and set out on my own adventure. I have, and I am blessed for everything I have found.

To see the rest of the pictures click here.

Demolition Derby

The last two weekends the highlight, by far, has been attending events at the Bonner County Fair. I just may be turning into a country girl. Last Friday night Evan and I went out to the rodeo. It was my first rodeo and it definitely kept my attention. Barrel racing, calf roping, bull riding...these folks are crazy. Did you know they tie a rope around the bull's testicles to get it to buck? They give it good pull right before they open the gate.

Friday night we went over to buy our demolition derby tickets (yes, we got them in advance because they often sell out) and toured all the animals. There was a pig auction going on so we sat in for awhile. When I saw the first pig go for $2.50 I got so excited. I wanted to buy a pig more than anything. I was going to take it down to Woods to get butchered and eat sausage and pork loin for months (I never really thought about how I would get it there...). Evan was quick to tell me that they were being auction off per pound. My dreams were shattered.

Last night was the demolition derby. We met some friends there, and everyone got so into it. The kids had ear plugs in and Evan and Russ were making a racket. I had just as much fun watching the derby as listening to Evan and Russ. We watched a few cars light on fire and start smoking. One was smoking so much it filled up half the arena. Slowly but surely, I am becoming a north Idaho girl.

Meet Reggie!

I must like getting dogs in August. As I was writing the title I realized that it was a little less than a year ago that I wrote, "Meet Buck." This also means that I have been living in Idaho for over a year! It is hard to believe how quickly it has passed. Reggie is a soft coated wheaten terrier. Despite living in northern Idaho, there is still a bit of the high maintenance city girl in me. Reggie is a pure bred. Believe it or not, he was flown to me from Nebraska.

I had quite a time trying to get him out here. The forcasted temperature of the final destination has to be 85 degrees or lower. Reggie was set to ship out during one of our many heat waves. Twice, his flight got canceled. Jon and Noel were kind enough to pick Reggie up at the airport once they dropped Maggie off. I came home from work last Tuesday to this little guy covered in pee just dying to be loved. And of course, I loved him, regardless of the pee.

Time to be honest. Reggie is a handful. There is a huge difference between getting a 4 month old puppy and a 10 month old house broken puppy. Reggie had trouble pooping when I first got him. I used Kendra's home remedy of pumpkin pie filling to loosen things up. Sure enough, things started moving. One day he pooped on the deck and as I went to clean it up I realized why Reggie was having trouble pooping. Reggie eats rocks. A lot of dogs like to pick up rocks and roll them around in their mouth and might accidentally swallow them. Not Reggie. Reggie eats rocks and dirt. I did some research and apparently pica is very common in puppies. Unfortunately, it is also very dangerous as he could require surgery if he eats a rock that his little intestines cannot pass. As a result of Reggie's interesting appetite and the large amount of rocks in my yard (the house is on an old river bed...) he must be supervised at all times to help him break the habit. I am hoping it is in relation to him cutting new teeth and will pass in time. It is beyond frustrating to watch someone you love repeatedly hurt themselves. It brings up all too familiar feelings which has left me particularly emotional lately.

The good news it the pumpkin pie filling is a great home remedy for constipation in dogs. The bad news is that I think I gave him too much. Being woken up in the middle of the night solely by the smell of puppy poop is by far one of the most disgusting things I have experienced in my life. Poor little guy cannot hold it in. If you have not noticed, I spend a lot of my time researching, and talking about poop now. It takes up a large portion of my day. I have had minutes taken off my life by three simple words, "Do your business, do your business." Speaking of poop. Reggie needs a bath.

Maggie & Jon Visit!

Maggie and Jon came to visit for five days. As I took them to all my favorite spots, and explored new places with them and Evan I was reminded of the beauty I am surrounded by. Just seeing the expressions on their faces reminded of how I felt a year ago as I drank this all in for the first time. I would be anxious at times worrying that they were getting bored because we had been driving for awhile, and then I would hear one of them talk about how just driving was beautiful. I used to be the same way. How quickly one forgets...
It was great to have friends in town and completely let go. It has been a long time since I have pulled some props down from the shelf and gotten ridiculous. We ate a lot of great food, despite Jon's reluctance to trust my quesadilla making technique. We even made it out to Eichardt's one night for a little shuffleboard.

Next post: pictures of my new puppy, Mr. Reginald Bing! He goes by Reggie, don't worry!

Vancouver Island

At the end of July I embarked on a journey of taking eight teenagers into British Columbia for two weeks. I will spare you the details of all the drama with the kids, and focus on what I got out of the trip. This was a "Gift Trip" in which students who are about to graduate give back to others. We volunteered at a Camphill Community for ten days. Camphill is a community for folks with special needs. It gives them the opportunity to be a part of a family, to work, socialize, and also learn new skills. We also spent three days in the delightful city of Victoria. We were fortunate enough to be there for their 150 year celebration. At Glenora Farm we made a great camp in a maple grove on the edge of their property. I was delighted to use all the gear I picked up in my years working at Climb Kalamazoo. I was so happy in my little tent. I had girls sleeping in tents on one side of me, and boys on the other. Most of the work we did to help the community was in the garden. They had meters of carrots and cabbage that were in desperate need of weeding. After that we moved on to harvesting garlic, which included pulling it out, braiding it, and then hanging it to dry in the barn. We picked buckets upon buckets of beans. Yellow beans, green beans, purple beans (that turn green when you cook them), and purple and yellow beans. And let us not forget the snow peas. I took great pleasure in weeding and harvesting in the garden. It was beyond relaxing to work outside for others with absolutely no pressure to get a certain amount of work done. Everything from one bean to 100 was appreciated. Unfortunately, my lower back did not quite agree with me. As the week went on and the farm was having trouble keeping up with the amount of food coming in from the garden I started to help in the house with processing the food. I helped my buddy Chris shred zucchini, snap beans, and string peas. I generally move pretty fast in in my thoughts and emotions on a daily basis. All that fell away for me at Glenora Farm. I moved slow, and I felt so light. No weight, no pressure. No expecations, except just to be present in the moment. My buddy Chris had the simple job of shredding zucchini. When he would finish some he would open the lid, look in and say, "Good job, Buddy" which a huge smile on his face. I can do a lot of things that Chris cannot do. I can speak in full sentences. I can run, I can read, I can write. I can get a college education. What I cannot do that Chris can do is look at my work, my performance and say with absolute, 100% satisfaction, "Good work." I am my worst critic. I create the weight I feel on a daily basis, I create all the expectations that surround me. I am not sure what magic resides at Glenora Farm that allowed me to let go and experience the lightness of being, but I am forever thankful.

Fourth of July in Michigan

My mom flew me home for the Fourth of July weekend to spend some time with my family. We originally were shooting for me to come to Michigan in June for JT and Nicco's graduation party but it did not work with my work schedule. The Fourth weekend was the next best option, and it worked out great. As we drove up north to Alpena I started think about how a year ago I was up in Alpena telling everyone how I was going out to Idaho for a job interview in a few days. This time I was telling them all about my job. As I said hello to all my cousins and hugged them I was taken aback as I realized they are the same age as a lot of my students. It blew me away to think of my cousins smoking pot, dropping acid, tripping on LSD, selling drugs, selling their bodies, having sex, running from the cops, or threatening their parents. Instead they were up north on a holiday weekend enjoying it with their family, catching minnows, tubing, shooting bee bee guns, reading, learning how to play poker with my brother, and going to church. I am so thankful they have chosen the life that they have. There is no reason to grow up too fast.

My bittersweet moment came to me as I was kayaking with my Aunt Jan and my cousin Jenna. We were coming back to the dock and I looked up to see my grandma, my mom, my brother, and a handful of my cousins sitting around the dock. I have a lot of things in Idaho that remind me of Michigan. Lake Coeur d'Alene gives me what I used to get from The Great Lakes, there is plenty of snow, plenty of sun, plenty of forests and wide open spaces to put my mind at ease. What I cannot get in Idaho, that lives only in Michigan is the overwhelming sense of family and love. The feeling that someone knows me, really knows me from start to finish. That is what I miss.

As I was getting ready to say goodbye to my mom I started to tear up. I explained to her that I was getting ready to go home, but I was already at home. I was feeling lost, confused, and neither here nor there. She told me it was clear to her where my home was as she reminded me that during the short time I was in Michigan I refused to get on the Eastern Time Zone. That was hard for me to swallow. It is hard to let go.

Apparently, it is also hard for my cat MAX to let go, as the old guy is going on 14 years and still going strong.

Rock Lake

I went on an amazing hike to Rock Lake awhile ago with some friends from work, Scott and Lisa. They are both on the Tuesday through Saturday schedule, and I am on the Sunday through Thursday schedule so we do not get a lot of time to spend together outside of work. My scheduled got all mixed up as a result of a another parent visit on campus, and I jumped at the chance to go hiking with them. Rock Creek was running on overdrive as a result of all of the snow melt with the warm weather. They told me to plan on doing some stream crossings, but I do not think any of us had any idea of what we were in store for. It was easy to step into the streams, but once I tried to take a step in the stream I thought I was going to be swept away. And oh boy was it it COLD. My toes went numb and my legs were shaking after one that was about 20 ft wide. We made it through all the crossings and up to the waterfall with an old mine shaft. From there it was almost all uphill in the sun, but I knew there was a cool treat waiting for me at the end: Rock Lake. Half of it was still covered in snow and ice, but I knew I needed to go in. Who hikes to an alpine lake and does not go swimming in it?? As my body submerged the thought going through my mind was, "This is what some people feel right before they die." Thankfully, the air was hot and the rocks were warm once I got out.

Back to the Woods

I say "back to the woods" like I was not cross-country skiing through them all winter, but there is still something different about hiking about the mountains slowly versus sliding through them on skis. I had to work Memorial Day, and as a result received the following Tuesday off and decided to two things. First I went to the trail that leads to "the Ghost." I do not know the real name of this trail, but that is what we refer to it as at the school. It is a wide trail off of a forest service road, probably an old forest service road itself, that leads to the base of a wide open field on a mountain side that is shaped like a ghost when looking at it from the school. This is the trail that Erik was hiking when Buck and Max went off on their adventure that Buck never returned from. I knew I needed to hike it and say goodbye to my buddy, my best, and first friend I made when I moved to Idaho. I took one of his favorite toys up there; a little, blue sesame street stuffed animal that Buck had chewed the head and several limbs off of and I had lovingly sewed back together several times in order to give Buck his buddy back. I also brought a small spade, and Max. When I got to the trail head I took down the laminated "Lost" flier with Buck's picture on it. We hiked up for maybe a half hour or so when Max took off into the woods after something. The moment felt right as Max ran off for a few moments and I thought about how it was that easy to lose a friend. That moment was all I was waiting for. I set down my backpack and dug a hole for Buck's beloved blue friend. I placed a few rocks over it, and without any tears (!) said goodbye to my buddy. I knew I was ready to let him go.







Max and I decided not to hike the rest of the ghost, but went to the next trail over, "Star Peak" to start a new adventure. The trail up to Star Peak is not an easy one, it is a very strenuous uphill starting from the road. I was sweating before I even made it to the trail head! I went a little less than two house up, and decided I did not need to beat myself and could turn around. There were some gorgeous views of the Clark Fork River, and a plethora of wild flowers. My favorite was probably the wild growing orchids I found, but was unable to get a good picture. I have not yet taken the time to figure out what type of flower this pink beauty is. I think it looks a lot like a trillium, but it is pink! The other great part of this trail was the waterfall that was in full swing given all the warm weather and snow melt off. I sat by it for quite awhile just amazed at the way it flowed through all the rocks and roots of the trees.

Canoing on Lake Pend Oreille

About two weeks ago I went for a little canoe on Lake Pend Oreille. The temperature had been up in the high 80's for a couple of days and I was just itching to be out on the water. It was absolutely wonderful. The water was unbelievably calm, and I felt just right with the sun blazing and a cool water breeze. If I got a little too hot all I had to do was dip my foot in the icy water and I was quickly regulated. We put in at Denton Slough and went around the Hope Peninsula to Sam Owen State Park. Near the shore where we put in there were a handful of immature bald eagles, and then mature bald eagle or two flying around. As we paddled away from the shore toward the edge of the peninsula and the lake unfolded before me I was in awe once again. "I live here..." just kept rolling through my mind like I was trying to convince myself that it was true. I have gone canoing my fair share, but never on a lake while surrounded by mountains.

My Home

There was one thing I forgot to mention about last weekend. After the parent seminar I felt like I was literally walking on air, and very proud of myself for making a choice in my life that has paid off so well. However, knowing myself as well as I do I knew that by working a seven day week, the last day of which was going to be a 14 hour day I needed to have a little down time all by myself to decompress even if I did not feel like I needed it. All my friends were headed to a birthday party cookout, and as much as I wanted to throw on some jeans and head on over on my little high, I knew I needed to take a break from the world. Who knew taking a break from the world was so easy to do in northern Idaho?

I grabbed Max and Rosco and jumped in my car outfitted with my new pair of rubber rain boots or "Wellies" as my supervisor so lovingly calls them. I drove a mere five miles to the wild game preserve up the road and set out for my walk. As I approached the swampy pond on the western end of the preserve I stopped for a couple of minutes and just looked around me. There were snow capped mountains surrounding me and it was unbelievably quiet except for the sound of natural wildlife. Within minutes I had set aside my busy day and was enjoying the natural beauty of the world, my world. I was so incredibly thankful in that moment for finding this home, and making it my home. I felt lucky and blessed for living the life that I am living right now.

Blessed To Be Witness

This has been a long week. Typically I work five day weeks, this was a seven day week. I have eleven students that I am guiding through the program, I often call them "my kids." My kids' parents came to school to town on Friday and stayed through Sunday. On Friday, I spent half the day with just the parents preparing them for their weekend with their children, my children. To start off the seminar everyone shared why they were here. When it came to my turn I said that I was here because I love watching people grow and change. That says it most succinctly, but it lacks the eloquence I was hoping for. I love my job, that was reaffirmed over and over again this weekend, and I wish I could just find the words to explain what I love.

There was one moment when a parent was checking in and said how much he appreciated that I knew his son, really knew his son and had him "dialed in." Another parent who I have had a few difficult phone conversations with and was anticipating a less than warm welcome from looked straight at me during his check in and said how great it was to see me after all our phone conversations. He afterwards gave me a huge hug. As I relayed to one parent the games his son plays with me when he wants something, the father turned to look at me and said, "You mean, he does that with you, too?" I just smiled and nodded, knowing full well I get brunt end of all the fun attention/love games these children have devised over the years. "You must be somewhat of a surrogate parent to him then, to all these children, aren't you?" was his response. All these little interactions just melted my heart. I know a large part of it was the feeling that I was mending families, and in the process I was creating a family of my own. And it was ok, and it was safe and I was not ruining anything.

I left the seminar just glowing. I love my job. I love what I am helping to create, communication and love between families. I love that I am learning how to be a parent. In the spotty cell phone reception of western Montana I managed to get a hold of my mom. I told her how in love I was. I could almost see her smiling. "You made a good choice then," she said. I told her I was definitely going to work here for a few more years and keep saving the world, one family at a time. I then started talking about the future and how after that I would go back to school and get a degree in Industrial Organization Psychology and make the big bucks once I was done saving the world. Typical me, I was not staying in the present moment. "You're right you could, but all the money in the world couldn't give you the feeling you have right now" my mom said. Thanks for brining me back to the present mom, and for reminding me that what I am doing right now is good enough.

I spent all day Saturday, and I mean all day (14 hours) at the school with my kids and their parents. I did family sessions throughout the day with each family checking in to see how everyone was doing. One boy threw up after telling his mom all the things he had been doing at home. Another boy was crying at the mere thought of having to say goodbye again. One parent became really honest with his son about how much he felt taken advantage of and then began weeping with his son in his arms at his own perceived failure as a father. After one family session with one family the father, who says very little, literally picked me up off the ground several inches as he hugged me. During last light I watched my "tough" boys cry in their mother's arms, and one mother weep as she thanked the students in the school for the love they have showed her son. I saw fathers cry as they held their sons. It was one of the most beautiful weekends I have had. I feel so blessed to be witness to such love and beauty. I could not thank these families enough for allowing me into the most intimate parts of their lives, and trusting me with their children.

Brrrrrrr!

Maybe spring is not coming... It snowed yesterday in Montana!! April 30th and it snowed! Not a whole lot of snow, but there were definately flakes falling and landing on me. Please cross your fingers that May is bringing no more snow! We need sun in Montana to melt the piles of snow still decorating the campus.

Spring

We had our first taste of spring this week. It was short, but it still gave me something to look forward to. One afternoon I went down to the Clark Fork River with Max and Evan. Max is one of Erik and Kendra’s dogs and he has been a great dog-friend in Buck’s absence. His excitement could not be contained when Evan would break a branch off of driftwood to throw for him. He would start this anxious barking as he danced around on the sand, desperately needing the stick that was about to be broken off and thrown into the water for his retrieval. The river was still low, and as a result a wide bank was exposed that Max could run along, and made for perfect walks and explorations of the riverside. Unfortunately, the water level is already creeping up and eating away at the exposed sand destroying my precious haven. For me there is nothing more peaceful and rejuvenating than walking next to the water, so close I could enter if I wanted to. I am sure there will be new retreats found, but probably not as close to home as this one.

Clark Fork is mostly clear of snow, but in Montana, where the school is, there is still a good foot on the ground in places. Some days it seems like spring will never come, namely today. Just looking outside at the overcast skies and lighting a fire in the woodstove to keep warm reminds me that it is not yet here.

Rosco & Max

A lot of people have been asking me if I am getting a new dog. After the short stint with Chloe I was all set to get a purebred Wheaten Terrier puppy in the spring, regardless of the ridiculous amount of money it was going to cost me. Why a Wheaten Terrier? They have fluffy coats (which I love), but they do not shed. This was the same case with Buck. I did not realize it until I had him for awhile, but it was definitely a benefit. My Aunt and Uncle have also had a few Wheaten Terriers and I loved the temperament, particularly the never ending energy. This was something that would usually get to me about Buck, but the annoyance usually quickly passed and his spunk would rub off on me. Although I do remember the time I was down with the flu and he wanted to play so bad. I went out and got him a few new toys and it gave me the peace and quiet to take a nap. The other big reasons for going with a puppy was that I wanted to start from the beginning and not worry about whatever baggage the dog might be bringing into the relationship that I was unaware of and really did not know how to deal with.

With the new stress of my new position at work, I decided to go against getting a puppy at this moment. I just started to realize that I did not have the time or energy to spend entertaining and training a puppy as much as I wanted to. My solution became very clear to me soon after moving in with Erik and Kendra. Their two dogs Rosco and Max are always ready for a walk, or to force me to come out of a funk and just love them. Rosco is an 10 month old Doberman-golden retriever mix, or in other words a very large, dumb puppy who will do anything for a little attention, including shove Max out of the way. Max is an eight year old Whippet mix with a very calm temperament. His eyes are soulful and he looks wise beyond his years. The dogs were quick to accept me as part of the household. In the mornings, Rosco will sometimes bark at the bathroom door because he has not yet had a chance to say good morning, or received a scratch behind the ears from me. Max is much more patient and will lie down in my room, right by the door to get his morning butt scratch. In the evenings, Max tries to persuade me into letting him up on the bed. He will come into my room at night, turn his eyes up to me, lay his ears back and give little sad moans as if to say, “Can I please come up there, please?” Occasionally, I agree.

Until I am ready for a new puppy, Rosco and Max are more than willing to fill the hole that Buck left in my life.

My Moose

Meet my moose. It is just a baby, but it is mine. I was busy in the kitchen making a mushroom, artichoke, bacon frittata from Bon Appetit for Erik, Kendra and I when I got the call. Kendra was on the phone with a neighbor who mentioned the moose across the street. I left Kendra in charge of the frittata, grabbed my boots and camera and was out the door. “Watch out for the momma!” Erik called after me. I rushed down the stairs imaging a large moose charging my car. I drove down Main Street to Third Street and low and behold, there was my moose sitting in someone’s backyard munching away on some poor yard that had barely made it through the winter itself. It is important to note that yes, the moose was spotted on Main Street and Third Street. My point being that is was spotted in the center of town, and not on the outskirts of town. Quite the change from metro Detroit…

P.S. The frittata still turned out great.

Moose

Well, nature gave me a birthday present. Yesterday, Erik, Kendra, Rosco, & Max and I all went for a little ski after work. I saw my first moose. Do not get too excited. I do not have pictures, and it was all a little anti-climatic because the moose was on one side of Lighting Creek and we were on the other. Nevertheless, I have seen a moose. I am still waiting for an up close and personal sighting, but this should tide me over for now...

Big City Girl

Big city girl, but only for the weekend. I took all the extra time I have been working to do enrollments and took a mini vacation to go visit Maureen in San Diego. Bobby is away at camp Irwin for two weeks so it seems to be perfect timing. Although, I hope Bobby does not develop a complex seeing as I only visit Maureen when he is not around...it just gives us that much more time to "play sisters."

I moved to ClarkFork, Idaho about two weeks ago. The population there is about 530 people, so when I say I am a big city girl for the weekend, I really mean it. ClarkFork is significantly closer to the school, and I was already staying there 2-3 times a week with good friends of mine. We talked about me moving in, I put my place up for sublet, and before I knew it I needed to be moved out by the end of the month. So far things have been great, although I do not have Internet there yet, so it has been hard for me to keep this updated, or even keep in touch. I spent all yesterday morning just writing emails while Maureen was at work. My cell phone also does not have service in ClarkFork, but I usually forward it to the house line or check messages, so no need to worry about a new number.

Just a short check in. I have got to get all dolled up, and put on my "gems" (Maureen's word for jewelry) for our trip to La Jolla for table side guacamole. They bring out all the ingredients and make it right in front of you. This is my favorite thing to do when I visit her, well besides shop and enjoy the sun.

My Own Private Idaho

Another trip to Moscow, another great weekend. After going to the city courthouse to get my Idaho driver's license Friday morning (yes, I am now officially a resident of Idaho!), I jumped in the car with my cousin Liz who I had picked up from the train station and headed down to Moscow. Liz is Nancy's daughter and she has been in Africa the last several months so she was antsy to get home. I had not seen her since my Grandma Maryanne's funeral almost four years ago, so it was a great chance to catch up with her.

Upon arrival, we did the short hike up to the house and I repeatedly fell off the path into snow up to my knees. As we came up to the house Nancy was outside mauling wood. I could barely believe it. Think you could give that a try, Dad? Hugs were given all around and then a snack of homemade granola and homemade applesauce was eaten as the sun shone in through the windows and the wood stove burned away. This was the prelude to a wonderful weekend. I slipped away upstairs and did something I almost never do; I took a nap. It was so wonderful being covered in a blanket of sunlight. After my nap, I curled up in a little corner of sunlight and got lost in my book as Nancy served me homemade tea from herbs picked from the yard last year. For dinner, Nancy made homemade spaghetti with morel mushrooms and venison with a side of homemade pesto which we lovingly spread over garlic bread that oozed butter and huge chunks of garlic. For dessert we had dried pears and plums. I topped it off with a glass or two of her homemade porter. Are you seeing a trend here?

In the morning, after sleeping in until the sun would no longer let me linger, I curled up with a cup of tea. Nancy made homemade waffles in her cast iron waffle maker and served them with homemade apricot-huckleberry jam, peach preserves, and apple sauce. It was hard to stop eating! My morning consisted of getting lost in my book, once again, and sipping a bottomless cup of tea. As Liz was heading to town, I decided to take a trip down the hill with her to move a little. Liz suggested we take the sleds. The house is on the top of a hill, with a winding road that leads up to it. In the center of that road there is a path in the snow beaten down from walking, and sledding. As hesitant as I was to ride a sled down a path in the center of winding road, I was not going to be shown up by Nancy. It was a ridiculous amount of fun. It was the type of fun where you just start laughing and cannot stop, and you are not even sure what you are laughing at. At one point the road turned left, and I continued straight off the road into the snow, but I could not have cared less.

After heading back up the hill I decided to go on a moose hunt. There is a moose that hangs around Nancy's place, and I had a feeling it wanted to be my moose. I gave Gus a pep talk and told him to guide me to the moose. I strapped on my snowshoes and we were off. Gus knew exactly what he was doing. He led me to moose poop, moose pee, moose hair, moose tracks, and even places where it was evident the moose had bedded down. At one point, I even heard a moose call. After leading me to a woodpecker, I knew the moose was next. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Gus took me up hills, and down hills, up the gully, and down the gully, under trees, and over trees, but there was no moose to be seen.


I spent the rest of my afternoon curled up next to the wood stove with Pooch (the cat) snuggled in my lap, my book in my hands, tea right beside me, and fresh baked bread to nibble on. Nancy was busy all afternoon baking homemade bread, peach-apple pie, and dying her hand spun wool. The sun started to heat up the front room and it felt as if I was sun bathing. I had to slide my sleeves up my arms and roll up my pants legs. I could close my eyes and imagine I was on a beach listening to Bob Dylan play on NPR. Ahhh, my own private Idaho.

After my fill of bread, pie, tea, and more spaghetti I knew it was time to start my trip home. Even though it was just over 24 hours, it felt as if I was there for days. The world melts away up there. I always get asked for pictures, and every time I am there I just cannot bear to do it. When I am up at the Someday House I look around me and there is nothing I could take a picture of that could convey the feeling of being there. That feeling is so amazing, I never want to try and confine it to a picture. It just is. I hope my words give you an idea.

Getting out of my Comfort Zone

What an awesome day! I went skiing with the kids at Schweitzer today and it was amazing. There was a clear, bluebird sky and it was in the 40's all day. Unbelievable. I spent the good part of the day with one of the girls that is a beginner skier. Chuck and Dennison kept asking if I wanted to go up the mountain, but I was just happy as can be working on my turns and practicing the technique I had learned during the lesson. The kids started to say that I needed to go up. I mentioned that I have a lot of anxiety around skiing, and they let it go. I started to think about that one. I work at an emotional growth boarding school. We push the kids to get out of their comfort zone. If I had been a student and said that they would have confronted me and practically insisted that we go up the mountain. I did a few new runs down on Midway and at the last meet-up decided to go for it. I went up to the top of the mountain with Dennison and some of the kids. It was so great. We skied across the ridge and then down the back of the mountain on some long, mellow runs. I loved it. I was so happy that I got out of my comfort zone, because my non-comfort zone was soooo much fun, and not all that uncomfortable. For me, skiing is not about can and cannot, it is more about what my mind will let me do when I let go of fear. After my ski I went on a walk over to the longbridge and it there was a gorgeous sunset reflecting on the mountains. The moon was rising, and I remembered why I love living here. I was in such a good mood from skiing I practically ran to the water today. I was so giddy to get there. It reminded me of Buck. He was definitely walking with me today because he was usually the one to run to the water, I guess I will have to take over for now.

Dogs & Moose

Last Sunday there was a close call. Brian and I were driving down the River Road very slow due to the slushy conditions. (Can you believe I was driving slow??) Ahead I spotted two large, yellow eyes moving in the road. "I think this is it!" I yelled to Brian. Brian, unaware of my non-moose sighting was a little confused as to what I was referring to. As we neared closer and I began to see the animal's large brown body I could feel my heart quicken. I was going to see my first moose. I was sorely disappointed when I realized this moose had no antlers and was a simple brown cow wandering aimlessly down the road. *sigh* Perhaps another day. I have put all my friends on moose alert. They are aware that if they see a moose they are to call me immediately and I will come to view the moose.

About four weeks ago I got a dog. About three weeks ago I returned said dog. Apparently, I was not yet ready to open my heart to a new dog. Or, the case may have been that I was not willing to open my heart to anyone. It was very bad timing and I picked the dog up two days after a very trying, and emotionally exhausting workshop at work. I do not think I would have bonded with any dog considering the state that I was in. She was a two year old Airedale Terrier - Golden Retriever mix. She also had a bit of baggage. She was extremely aggressive to Erik and Kendra's dogs, and considering the amount of time I spend at their place, I knew she had to go. This was in addition to jumping up on my desk and dining room table while I was gone at work and decapitating two of my favorite plants. Buck chewed on some things, but he did not kill anything! I also felt I was able to remedy Buck's chewing by showering him with bones and other chew able toys. How do you keep a dog from misbehaving when you are not home when she is a perfect angel when you are around? I think there was major separation anxiety. It all worked out for the best and she has been adopted into a new home. "Erin gets a new puppy 2008" will be postponed until spring...or summer considering the ridiculously wet spring we are going to have when the icebergs of Idaho melt.

another ski trip with the kids tomorrow....

State of Emergency

In case you have not heard, all the counties of northern Idaho (including mine, Bonner county) and eastern Washington have been declared to be in a state of emergency due to excessive snowfall. I think it is awesome. Well, the snow that is, not that we are in a state of emergency. I can only imagine what my life would be like if I were 50 years older, or lived up a mountain road that has not been plowed in days. For me, driving to work makes me kind of giddy. All I see is white and the snow is piled so high on either side of the road that it feels like I am driving through some sort of ice luge. It feels as if I am entering some crazy netherworld of snow. And then I get to campus. It is unbelievable. Snow burms along the paths are up to 15 feet high! In class on Thursday, I blazed through my lesson on active listening and then told the kids to suit up because we were going out to play. I cannot even begin to explain what it was like playing in snow like this. Just the mere act of jumping off the path into the snow was exhilarating. We raced up the snow burms, and then slid down them. We had a snowball fight, and did somersaults off railings into the snow. The only thing that was a little scary was when I would get to a point where it would be really hard to move because a limb or two was stuck so deep in the snow. It really made me think about what it would be like to get caught in an avalanche. After a long week, playing in the snow with my three kids was a great way to end it. We all needed it.

Pictures to follow soon...

2008

2008 is off to a great start. I celebrated in the new year with good friends and great conversation about love, life, family, and relationships. New Year's Day I went cross country skiing up Lighting Creek with Natty, Kendra and the dogs. Despite my persistent cough, it was awesome to breathe in fresh mountain air. I still cannot believe I live in such beauty, it still overwhelms me - in a good way. When I was in San Diego I found myself overwhelmed by cars, people, and buildings. I cannot believe how quickly I learned to love the wide open spaces of northern Idaho. I will not lie though, I did see it coming. I am only surprised by the speed in which I have assimilated.

Apparently, I am not the only one who is impressed by the speed in which I can assimilate to a new culture. I received a promotion at work! Before, I was assisting someone in supervising a group of kids, and starting Tuesday I will have the first of my own group of kids to guide through the program. Needless to say, I have a feeling I will be busy for the next few weeks. There is a lot to learn and do as these new kids arrive. So, I apologize now for a lack in posting, but know it is because I am probably choosing to ski off some energy in the mountainous woods rather than sit in front of my computer.

One more thing, I have also started looking at new dogs. That was hard to type. I feel like I am giving up on Buck by looking at welcoming a new dog into my life, but I know it is time. A coworker was looking at pictures of Buck and I together and made a comment that hit home for me. He said he does not see me smile like I smile in the pictures with Buck. Buck brought light to my life, and I can only hope I brought the same to his life. It is time to smile again with the intensity that I know I can.