Woah, where have I been for 20 days??? I just realized my last post was on the 5th of October, and now October is almost past! So what have I been doing?? Well, I got sick for about a week and thoroughly enjoyed taking the time to slow down and get healthy. I always love a great excuse to sit around, drink buckets of tea, eat soup, and watch movies. I've also been spending more time with co-workers outside of work, which is great, but our conversations always end up back about work and the kids! We are thinking about putting a time limit on work talk...Buck is still my best bud. My favorite place to take him is Pend Oreille Bay. The trail starts near the train station. It's a large gravel path that runs north along the lake with a couple yards of trees and foliage between the trail and water that acts as a great wind barrier, but is thin enough for Buck to run through to repeatedly "check on the water." It is a great place for me to take him and let him off the leash. The other day I decided to take him there in the morning before work on one of my late start days. Never again. As I sat on the dock with my feet dangling over the water after we had walked 80% of the trail and we were about 5 minutes from the car he decided to go swimming, completely submerged swimming. I am also convinced he attempted to push me in as he came running out the water, ran to the dock, shook himself all over me, and then leaned up against my back with all his weight. If it was not for the ladder I grabbed onto I would have ended up in the water. I took my wet dog in my car, where he proceeded to jump into the front seat and then home where I had no time to take care of him as I had to get ready for work. I think it was our first fight.Today it was one of those gorgeous fall days with a brilliant blue sky, crisp air, and a golden landscape. Buck and went hiking on the Mickinnick Trail that offers great views of Sandpoint, Lake Pend Oreille, the Pend Oreille River and the Cabinet Mountains (which the school is nestled in!). Buck is so cute. He has learned to recognize the signs that mean we are driving somewhere to go hiking or walking and he gets so excited he starts whining and whimpering in the back of the car. As we reached the end of the trail there were little bits of frozen ground and I can just imagine in a couple of weeks if I were to do this hike again there would be snow the last mile or so.For those of you who knows that my sister lives north of San Diego, she was evacuated for a few days because of the fires, but she and Bobby are home safe now, thank goodness. I am off to attempt to make pear butter with pears I got from a neighbor. I will add new pictures to the album later tonight or tomorrow so check 'em out!
Each evening the students have a "last light." Most simply put, it is a time when the school comes together to wind down for the evening. All the tables are moved out of the living room and we sit on couches or against one another with pillows everywhere and in between everyone. Sometimes it is lead by staff, or a group of students, and sometimes just one student. There might be music played, or a book read, perhaps someone shares from their life story, or we reflect on past events.
There was a recent last light that really moved me. A student shared about a close friend who was killed in gang violence a year ago. Initially, the feelings came for me when many of the students began to share about the loss of friends from similar situations. It reminded me that there are many levels to what brings these kids here. In memory, Johnny Cash's cover of the song 'Hurt' was played (I did some research and found it was originally written by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails.). The lyrics, the somber nature of Cash's voice, and sitting close with those hurting children I began to feel a connection with the ambiguous pain that has lead so many not only to drugs, but all the forms of self-destruction that we as a people engage in. This link will take you to a video of the song, and I encourage you to hear the song. The lyrics alone, do not do it justice. Cash's enunciation of the words, and the intonation of his voice elicit his raw self-hatred. I will warn you, it is not a pick-me-up, but for me it was an awakening, and understanding of a world I do not live in.
Hearing this song marked a clear moment of transition from sympathy to empathy in my job. In the last month I have found ways to relate to the students, I feel I have heard their pain, understood it, related it in my mind to parallel life experiences, but not been able to step into it, unable to feel it. That night I did. We all have forms of dysfunction in how we deal with life, no one is perfect. Mine is, and was, throughout my adolescence much different than many of the students I work with. Because of this, in some ways it has been hard to connect. It is in these moments, through the open sharing, songs, and stories that I begin to understand.
I just checked the weather for the week and snow is predicted to mix in with the rain showers on Friday! I was ok with seeing it on the mountains, but wow, snow in October?? Get ready...
When I was driving home yesterday I saw snow on the mountains. It was so amazing to see. I felt so small, and yet so safe down in the foothills. I really felt connected to the land watching it so evidently change before me.
I have been busy. Two weeks ago I spent a weekend in Moscow with my aunt, Nancy. That is where this picture is from. Wheat fields border her land. The way they spread out for what seems like eternity is very peaceful. Spending time with her is rejuvenating. Buck endlessly played and ran with her new puppy Harry, and Gus the older dog barked and tried his best to join in on the puppy play. Buck slept outside, but was quick to find the door closest to where I was sleeping and made me a happy mom as he slept right next to it. Driving home I saw the most amazing sunset over the hills of the Palouse. It started off mild with pastel purples and pinks and then turned into deep oranges and red against the blackening night sky. Search Google images with 'Palouse' and you will get the idea.
I think most of all, Buck as been keeping me busy. I think everyone should get a dog before they even think about becoming a parent. Yesterday, during our morning walk off campus before breakfast with the students (we had both spent the night in the staff lodging) Buck decided deer were exciting enough not just to look at, but that they needed to be chased as well. He has always stayed by my side walking (even without a leash), so it took me by surprise when he took off, with only a moments hesitation and glance when I called him back to me. I continued on the walk, hoping he would join. He never did. I wanted to be angry, and there was a part of me that wanted to be sad, but I knew there was no point. Work was starting, and if he could chase deer, he could find his way back. I sat down for breakfast, and just as I got my food I heard over the radio that he was running around campus. I went outside, called him a few times, and he came running from the soccer fields. He was one mangy looking dog. Wet, muddy, and full of burrs. I praised him for coming, and with no other timely option, put him in the car.
At the end of the day I was welcomed by the smell of wet dog as I entered my car and was delighted to see that he had shaken his coat dry, spraying little drops of mud all over the place. I started driving home and did not remove my bag from the front seat (which is the cue that he can come up there). He was insistent and crawled up there, and laid himself down on top of my bag. Once again, I wanted to be angry and shove him into the backseat on his blanket, but as I looked at him with burrs all over, his fur all stringy, and those puppy eyes I could only laugh. I am laughing just writing this. I took him home, bathed him (another adventure), and cleaned my car. While I was cleaning the car he was trying to rip burrs out of his leg hair. He either got burrs or a hairball, or both stuck in his throat and proceeded to walk around the house making hacking noises. He then made this horribly loud noise (so loud the person on the phone with me heard it!) and threw up his dinner. He did this about three more times before we retired for the evening.
Believe it or not, I still love my dog. 
