Blessed To Be Witness

This has been a long week. Typically I work five day weeks, this was a seven day week. I have eleven students that I am guiding through the program, I often call them "my kids." My kids' parents came to school to town on Friday and stayed through Sunday. On Friday, I spent half the day with just the parents preparing them for their weekend with their children, my children. To start off the seminar everyone shared why they were here. When it came to my turn I said that I was here because I love watching people grow and change. That says it most succinctly, but it lacks the eloquence I was hoping for. I love my job, that was reaffirmed over and over again this weekend, and I wish I could just find the words to explain what I love.

There was one moment when a parent was checking in and said how much he appreciated that I knew his son, really knew his son and had him "dialed in." Another parent who I have had a few difficult phone conversations with and was anticipating a less than warm welcome from looked straight at me during his check in and said how great it was to see me after all our phone conversations. He afterwards gave me a huge hug. As I relayed to one parent the games his son plays with me when he wants something, the father turned to look at me and said, "You mean, he does that with you, too?" I just smiled and nodded, knowing full well I get brunt end of all the fun attention/love games these children have devised over the years. "You must be somewhat of a surrogate parent to him then, to all these children, aren't you?" was his response. All these little interactions just melted my heart. I know a large part of it was the feeling that I was mending families, and in the process I was creating a family of my own. And it was ok, and it was safe and I was not ruining anything.

I left the seminar just glowing. I love my job. I love what I am helping to create, communication and love between families. I love that I am learning how to be a parent. In the spotty cell phone reception of western Montana I managed to get a hold of my mom. I told her how in love I was. I could almost see her smiling. "You made a good choice then," she said. I told her I was definitely going to work here for a few more years and keep saving the world, one family at a time. I then started talking about the future and how after that I would go back to school and get a degree in Industrial Organization Psychology and make the big bucks once I was done saving the world. Typical me, I was not staying in the present moment. "You're right you could, but all the money in the world couldn't give you the feeling you have right now" my mom said. Thanks for brining me back to the present mom, and for reminding me that what I am doing right now is good enough.

I spent all day Saturday, and I mean all day (14 hours) at the school with my kids and their parents. I did family sessions throughout the day with each family checking in to see how everyone was doing. One boy threw up after telling his mom all the things he had been doing at home. Another boy was crying at the mere thought of having to say goodbye again. One parent became really honest with his son about how much he felt taken advantage of and then began weeping with his son in his arms at his own perceived failure as a father. After one family session with one family the father, who says very little, literally picked me up off the ground several inches as he hugged me. During last light I watched my "tough" boys cry in their mother's arms, and one mother weep as she thanked the students in the school for the love they have showed her son. I saw fathers cry as they held their sons. It was one of the most beautiful weekends I have had. I feel so blessed to be witness to such love and beauty. I could not thank these families enough for allowing me into the most intimate parts of their lives, and trusting me with their children.