Happy Holidays...from Montana, Idaho, Washington, Utah, & California

Well, it's Christmas Day. I am at the Ramada Inn outside the Spokane Airport where they graciously let me use their internet even though I am not a guest. I am supposed to be on a plane to Los Angeles right now. That plane was canceled due to technical difficulty with the wing de-icer. From Los Angeles I was going to fly into San Diego to spend time with Maureen, Bobby, my mom, and Bill. Now, I will be flying to Salt Lake City, Utah and from there I will fly into San Diego. Yesterday, I was in Montana at the school with all the kids. Within 24 hours I will have visited five states on my holiday tour. That was not really my intention, but it sounds kind of cool.

Surprisingly, I have kept my cool. I was even dancing a little right after I heard because a song I liked was playing - Buck would have been proud! I remember the first time I had a flight get canceled on me I completely broke down sobbing and could not seem to get it together to even talk to the agent to get a new flight. I was not even going to miss any major event, I just could not handle my world changing on me. Did I mention I was in college when this happened? I was a very high strung girl. Maybe I am keeping my cool because I have lost my voice, so I could not pitch a fit if I wanted to (I got a slight cold and then laryngitis kicked in). Maybe it is because I have been through the experience of having a flight be canceled on Christmas day with debilitating back pain radiating down my leg causing me to limp through the airport drugged up on pain meds (on this occasion I was in Minneapolis and they wanted me to fly to Boston to get a connecting flight to Detroit after already flying in from Hawaii). There have been several other times where a flight was canceled or delayed and I let it ruin my mood, my day, probably even my whole trip. I could pass my relaxed attitude off on experience, or my physical well being right now, but I am not going to.

I find that I have become a more relaxed person. In other words, I think I am growing. I will not attribute it to "growing up," because I saw many "grown-ups" that lost their cool when the flight was canceled. I am simply growing, the direction is irrelevant. I have learned to take things as they come. I can choose how to respond to events in my life. Amor fati, choose your fate, love your fate. Events happen in my life that are out of my control, but that does not mean that my fate is out of my control. I can decide how I will respond and thus determine my fate, and thus love my fate. It is a little scary sometimes because all the responsibility is on me then, I cannot push it off onto fate, or God, or the powers that be. My life, my fate is my own. And right now, I love it. I may not be on my plane, I may not have a voice, I may not be with my family, but I am here. I am alive, I have an amazing job that was hard to leave for a weeks vacation because I will miss it, I live in an awe inspiring area full of beauty, and I am surrounding by love every day. I chose my fate, and I love my fate.

Merry Christmas and thanks for reading - it feels so good to have a voice even if only through the written word at the moment.