I love it when it snows for the first time, especially when it snows so much it leaves everything covered in white. I cannot help but see it as a new beginning, everything is white and innocent. It started snowing last night and had not stopped when I went to bed. There is also something ridiculously exciting about seeing the first snow fall in a new place. It is as if Sandpoint has transformed itself right before my eyes, changed its clothes, or dressed up in a costume - a beautiful costume. I had dinner and drink plans with my neighbor and I ran almost the whole way to his house. I was just so excited about the snow. When we walked out of the pub it seemed only natural to start a snowball fight. When it comes to throwing anything my aim is about as good as my ability to match a tone when singing. It was a painful loss, but I played dirty and tied it up by saving a little snow in my hand and whitewashing his face once we got back in the car. It was a great way to get me laughing and smiling. I know I needed it. I cried almost the whole way home from work as I realized that the grown-up, rational part of me has dealt with Buck's absence admirably and with grace, but the little girl part of me did not understand any of this and just wanted her puppy home. As much as I learn about myself, my emotions, and how to express them "appropriately," I think there still comes a time when I just need to cry and let all the junk out. I went for a walk this morning, or I attempted to walk this morning but the ground was so slippery I decided to just go play in the snow. When I started slipping and sliding all over the sidewalk I started to laugh out loud at myself. I immediately thought of Buck. It would have been great to have him with me today sliding all over the sidewalk as well. A perma-grin stuck to my face as I walked home knowing that Buck was going to be with me the rest of my life regardless if he came home or not - he taught me to laugh at myself and all the little things in life that used to frustrate me. When I got back to my little house I went in the backyard and made my first Idaho snow angel. Snow!
1 comment:
Dear Erin,
I hadn't read your blogs lately and just found out about Buck...
Once I lost my dog too and I still remember the panic I felt.
He came back. I hope Buck does as well!
When I read your blogs I feel close too you (aim achieved)and they usually bring tears to my eyes. As you can tell, I am very emotional these days.
Becoming like your mum... definetely something to look forward too :)
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